I had this conversation with my husband:
Me: You called? (after 8 years of marriage, pleasantries no longer exist. Plus, I don’t have time.)
Me: Again, you called?
Me: What do you want?
Him: I wanted to let you know I scored free rocks.
Me: What the fuck are you talking about?
Him: I scored free rocks.
Me: I understand what you said. I’m just wondering how the conversation transpired that led you to getting us free rocks.
Him: Well, rock house (note: that’s what we call the house that has their front lawn covered entirely in rocks) was getting rid of some. I was walking the dogs by their house and I saw him loading the rocks into the back of his truck. I asked him what he was doing with them and he said taking them to the landfill. I said that I’d take some off of his hands.
Him: So he put some in a wheelbarrow and wheeled the rocks to our backyard. Now we have all kinds of rocks.
Him: I saved us like $10 or $15!!!
At that point, I didn’t know what else to say. He was so proud of himself for scoring shit we could have found on the ground (also for free) that I didn’t want to burst his bubble. But at the same time, I was astonished that my husband actually convinced someone not only to give us free rocks but to wheel them to our house.
I’m a little jealous of his mad negotiating skillz.