We scored free rocks

This shit was free, y'all!

I had this conversation with my husband:

Him: Hello?

Me: You called? (after 8 years of marriage, pleasantries no longer exist. Plus, I don’t have time.)

Him: (silence)

Me: Again, you called?

Him: Yes.

Me: What do you want?

Him: I wanted to let you know I scored free rocks.

Me: What the fuck are you talking about?

Him: I scored free rocks.

Me: I understand what you said. I’m just wondering how the conversation transpired that led you to getting us free rocks.

Him: Well, rock house (note: that’s what we call the house that has their front lawn covered entirely in rocks) was getting rid of some. I was walking the dogs by their house and I saw him loading the rocks into the back of his truck. I asked him what he was doing with them and he said taking them to the landfill. I said that I’d take some off of his hands.

Me: Okay…

Him: So he put some in a wheelbarrow and wheeled the rocks to our backyard. Now we have all kinds of rocks.

Me: Okay…

Him: I saved us like $10 or $15!!!

At that point, I didn’t know what else to say. He was so proud of himself for scoring shit we could have found on the ground (also for free) that I didn’t want to burst his bubble. But at the same time, I was astonished that my husband actually convinced someone not only to give us free rocks but to wheel them to our house.

I’m a little jealous of his mad negotiating skillz.

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5 responses to “We scored free rocks

  1. curiositykilledblog

    My question is, what are you going to DO with said rocks? Build a fortress? I’m confused.

  2. My mom would be over the moon to score free rocks. They are a landscaper’s dream. My mom has this gorgeous garden and in it she has a rock bed that meanders through it. It’s really nice. My mom has paid plenty of money for rocks. Of the three years that I loved with her, I think there was a rock pile in the driveway just waiting to be used for 2 1/2. She’d have loved to stumble upon the rock house.

  3. I cannot stop laughing. This post is so funny! But I have to agree w/Andrea… what are you going to do with the rocks? 🙂

  4. Aw, good for your husband for saving those bucks! This was hilarious. I hope you’ll be doing a ton of rock painting because that is the only thing I could think of doing with all those rocks! That is, unless you guys plan to follow suit and decorate your lawn with rocks too (maybe that’s your husband’s secret plan!!).

  5. Hi Jana, I know that you have a lot going on and I just wanted you to know I miss new posts on this blog. Take care, Lori in CA

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