People who aren’t ticklish

This morning, my 5-year-old looks at me and says “Mommy, can I tickle you later?” Being the awesome mom I am I hesitate for only a second and then reply “Of course you can”.

Now, if you’re ticklish, you know this is akin to a cruel and unusual punishment.  Knowing that you’re about to be tickled is knowing that you’re walking into a torture chamber, unable to escape. Tickling is painful and tiresome and horribly awful. It is the worst thing on Earth (well, almost the worst thing on Earth. There are only slightly few things that I can think of that are worse than being tickled). But the worst part is that, although you know it hurts and you want it to stop NOW, you can’t stop laughing. Hence the torture.

It’s one thing when someone accidentally tickles you. When someone you know and love does it, it’s 1000 times worse because they know…your tickle spots. And they target those spots. Repeatedly. Until you can stand it anymore but you’re stuck and paralyzed with laughter and uncomfortableness. Those who are ticklish and in new relationships, heed this warning: Forget never letting them see you sweat. Never, ever let them know you’re tickle spots. Because they will lord it over you and use it to their advantage whenever possible. At the most inappropriate times and sometimes, in the most inappropriate places. And once they know your secret tickle spots, you are powerless.

And to those who aren’t ticklish, please understand this: tickling isn’t funny. It’s excruciating. Just because we laugh doesn’t mean we like it, and it’s certainly not an invitation to keep doing it. Laughing when tickled is like breathing while alive–you can’t help it.

So to that end…

I’m jealous of people who aren’t ticklish. But I wish it upon you. Because you must know what it’s like before you inflict the horror of tickling on someone for your own amusement. In fact, if tickling had been part of The Hunger Games, those kids would have been begging for nightlock.

Yeah, it’s that bad.


4 responses to “People who aren’t ticklish

  1. I’m one of those stoic people that tries to pretend she is NOT ticklish. Until the truth becomes obvious.

  2. Um there is a no tickling ME rule in our house. It’s cruel and mean and my husband has tried to use it as power over me. He wins hands down in the tickling moment but he now knows he doesn’t want the wrath when the torture induced laughter ceases!!!

  3. TJF, this is a well-written and honest entry, but waaaayyyy too general and one-sided in its claims. People differ radically in their feelings about and reactions to tickling. Some people do hate it, but others are fine with it, while others actually enjoy it quite a bit….Thanks for an interesting read!

  4. I’m beyond envious honestly. I so desperately wish I was more ticklish. I am, just I can tell others have a place I can never go with it. The disheartened looks of a person trying to tickle you and not getting the treasure they seek is depressing to me… when that treasure wasn’t your breasts, or gold or trinket… but your smile, your laughter. Laughter is so often a thing of discomfort among lovers due to insecurity, yet with someone who wants it, it means you let go when your sides are squeezed in embrace. You let yourself giggle and shudder more when ears are nibbled. I can’t imagine being so afraid to let go, that I restrain the sweetest gift one could be asked for, my smile, from someone I cherish. If I could take your curse away I would, for it is a gift left unopened. It’s to me akin to wishing away being erogenous, simply because it requires me to be naked and vulnerable and so I don’t ever show it to the one who touches me. It’s okay to lose control sometimes, but maybe the people who’ve tickled you in the past never learned that control was something they didn’t have to always take. Maybe they just assumed you’d hate it. I wonder how different it’d be if they thought it was something one could also want to give. Yes, even the worst thing on earth, is one of the many experiences that make this world something I’m glad I got to feel, if I could I’d love to feel it more… because we only have so much time to. Get in all the laughter you can~ y’know?

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